Fiction / March 2014 (Issue 23)

Sushi Goat's Gruff

by Peabody Winston

Starring: The Oni Ogre

Special Guest: A sushi goat (actually a lamb sushi)

Origin of the story: Peabody Winston, a teller of children's tales on the front porch of the Peabody Winston and Sons' Country Store and Bait Shop in Prescott, Arizona, tried to mix Chinese and Swedish fairy tales for the kids.

He got close and landed on Japan and Norway. We have replaced the Billy Goats Gruff with a sushi goat, and the original ogre is now an Oni (Japanese Ogre).

So just grab a bag of chips and a juice and watch your fingers as the rocking chair gets more excited, as Winston gets deeper into the tale.


The story: There once was an Oni Ogre that travelled the lands of Japan looking for sushi goats. He had wasabi in one hand and soy sauce in the other. He also carried a pair of great wooden chopstick swords on his back. His Oni mask never smiled, but it grew wickeder and meaner the hungrier he got.

One day, he came to a bridge where he heard the bleating of a sushi goat. He started his snake-like trance dance and began to wiggle like a great sea snake. He spoke these words:

Sushi goat, sushi goat, come to the bluff!
I am Oni Ogre Gruff.

Sushi goat, sushi goat, come to the bluff!
I am Oni Ogre Gruff.

He wiggled and repeated these phrases until, finally, the goat popped its' head up from under the bridge and approached the bluff next to the water.

The Oni Ogre threw the wasabi with great force and accuracy, and it splatted in the sushi goat's face and eyes. The goat bleated in pain and hopped and skipped in a circle. While he went around and around, the Oni Ogre poured soy sauce on him. He then drew his chopstick swords, and took a great bite. The sushi goat's wool was made of rice, and the Oni Ogre held him together in a seaweed strip. Inside was the most delicious lamb you ever tasted. The Oni Ogre downed him in two bites.

The moral: Be careful of hungry looking Oni Ogres bearing wasabi and soy sauce if you are a sushi goat.

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